If you’ve been keeping up, then you’ll know that Mercury’s retrograde is the bane of my existence, and probably yours too. It’s a rough time for most of us, and in this season of uncertainty, we find ourselves looking to seize control where we can. Enter Retail Therapy.
Lately I’ve noticed there seems to be a direct correlation between sadness and late night eBay acquisitions. There is an immediate sense of relief, but a delayed reward, kind of like scratching a bug bite. Too much scratching will only make things worse, but a little bit makes living tolerable again. Being an introverted night owl, the Internet holds my creepy wooden back scratcher, ever ready to take care of my annoying itch. For the more extroverted among us, there are actual retail stores with living beings inside, waiting to give us our next hit of antihistamines.
You can’t buy a happier life, but you can take home some red bottoms and simulate one for the gram. Personally, my discontent can be quantified by the number of rhinestone laden pieces in my jewelry box. I say “jewelry box”, but really I mean my jewelry area. This is a sprawling area that sweeps across multiple taboret tops, consisting of an earring tree, several heart shaped bins, and a tiered cupcake stand for miscellaneous pieces. There is also a flat topped, bronze mushroom with holes in the gills for earrings. Due to the awkward shape, the mushroom is actually highly underutilized, but I got it on sale and it’s cute as hell, sooo, it stays.
If you look online, retail therapy is often characterized by girls in cute outfits carrying a grip of shopping bags, usually from luxury brands. I feel like those bags are actually empty and the clothing is part of a paid partnership with such and such brand. In the age of influencers it’s difficult to decipher the truth between image and imagined, but we all know a big mood when we see one. Amassing nice things equals joy. With all that room in our closets (thanks, Marie Kondo!) we’ve got the space for some shiny new things. I’ve got three packages coming to me by the end of the month. Hopefully, it’s enough to get me through the last four days of this wretched retrograde.